By Donna Taylor
Golf is an incredible journey—one that teaches patience, resilience, and self-discovery. Whether you’re in your first year of golf or have been playing for decades, managing your expectations and energy can make or break your experience. After 46 years of playing and over three decades of teaching, I’ve learned that expectations and perfectionism are the quickest paths to frustration and even quitting. Instead, embracing the right mindset will help you enjoy the game and improve over time.
I’m the owner of Golf Party Live, a vibrant golf community in Phoenix, Arizona, where we create fun, welcoming experiences for women through lessons, playdates, retreats, and themed events. I also host the Golf Party Live Podcast, where we talk about all things golf in a fun and engaging way. My goal is to help more women fall in love with the game and build confidence on the course.
- Expectations: The Silent Performance Killer
Expectations can be limiting. When you focus too much on achieving perfection—hitting the perfect shot, posting a great score, or outperforming others—you become distracted. This pressure creates anxiety because outcomes in golf are never entirely in your control. Instead of fixating on results, try shifting your mindset:
- Play in the moment. Let go of future worries and past mistakes.
- Enjoy each shot for what it is—a chance to learn and improve.
- Be grateful for the opportunity to be on the course, playing a game you love.
Golf is unpredictable, and that’s part of its beauty. When you release the need for perfection, you’ll find more freedom and enjoyment in your game.
- Energy: Where Your Mind Goes, Your Energy Flows
Your thoughts shape your experience on the course. If you focus on mistakes, frustrations, or self-doubt, you’ll bring negative energy into your game. On the other hand, positive energy creates better experiences and even better performance.
- Be kind to yourself. I am constantly shocked at how hard my students are on themselves. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself after a bad shot?
- Stay humble and coachable. Arrogance often stems from insecurity and creates negative energy. Keep an open mind, and you’ll grow as a golfer.
- Use positive words. Instead of saying, “I always mess up this shot,” reframe it: “I’m working on improving this shot.” Your words matter.
- Being Present: The Key to Confidence
Many golfers worry about being watched, judged, or compared to others. This distraction takes you out of the present moment and into self-consciousness. Here’s the truth:
- No one is watching as closely as you think. Everyone is focused on their own game.
- You can only think about one thing at a time during your swing. If your mind is on what others think, it can’t be on your shot.
- Let go of past mistakes and future worries—focus only on the shot in front of you.
- Gratitude: The Quickest Way to Reset
When things aren’t going well on the course, it’s easy to slip into negativity. The fastest way to reset? Gratitude.
- Focus on what’s going well instead of what’s frustrating you.
- Appreciate the simple joys—being outdoors, playing with friends, improving your skills.
- When you shift from frustration to gratitude, your mindset and energy improve instantly.
- Focus & Effort: Control What You Can
There’s so much in golf that you can’t control—weather, course conditions, playing partners, or even that rude player in the group behind you. But here’s what you can control:
- Your focus. Stay locked into your process, not the distractions around you.
- Your effort. Consistent, intentional effort leads to improvement over time.
- Your attitude. Golf is humbling; the moment you think you’ve mastered it, it will remind you otherwise! Stay patient and committed to growth.
- Discipline: Smart Practice Over Time
Improvement in golf doesn’t happen overnight, and it certainly doesn’t happen without focused effort. Here’s how to make your practice count:
- Quality over quantity. A focused 10-minute session is better than an hour of distracted practice.
- Groove movements over time. It takes at least 21 days of repetition to ingrain a new movement.
- Accept setbacks. Learning isn’t linear—you’ll have great rounds and terrible rounds. Progress is best measured monthly or quarterly, not daily.
Final Thoughts
Golf is a journey, and managing your energy and expectations will make it more enjoyable and rewarding. Play with gratitude, stay present, focus on what you can control, and give yourself grace as you learn. Whether you’re a beginner or a lifelong golfer, these principles will help you play better, feel better, and most importantly—have more fun on the course.
Happy golfing!